You should go to the bathroom...

...Because you're full of shit.

Today's spotlight is on this perfect twofer, the can't merge & can't exit douchebag.

You'll spot this one pretty easily, when traffic slows to a crawl approaching exit on and off ramps, this fool is to blame.  Easier to identify on a less congested road, this rage inspiring, mentally defective bag of shit has absolutely no idea the concept of a deceleration/acceleration lane.

First, lets get into the technical details of an exit on/off ramp- there's not much too it.  Most people tend to slow down to go around the sharp curves of an exit off ramp, when these were designed, this was kept in mind.  Ever notice how on the highway there is an extra little lane that forms prior to the exit?  Didn't think so jackass.. they put that there so you get over, THEN slow down to go around the exit ramp.  It's that simple.

Just as easy to figure out, when you go to merge onto a highway- thats right, I said MERGE.. NOT stop- these genius engineers of our highway system almost always provide an -acceleration- lane.  This is NOT a slow down and fucking stop lane, I know, hard to figure out right?  Dumbass.

Take a moment and absorb that, if there is any room in that peanut sized brain of yours.

Now, with all of that fresh in your mind, why in the fuck can you people not understand how to fucking merge onto or off of a highway?  Chaos ensues at every mother fucking interchange on the highway, its simple to avoid.  If you are exiting, get over to the exit deceleration lane before you god fucking damn slow down!  There is no need to bring the right lane of traffic down to 30mph just so you can get into the deceleration lane of the exit. 

If you are merging, STEP ON THE GAS!  Your car has at least 2 pedals, a gas and a brake, for a fucking reason.  You speed up when you merge onto a HIGHWAY.  When you STOP some other jackass, already on the highway- quite possibly one of your own cant merge people- will inevitably feel the need to also come to a stop to let you over.  This by the way, is yet another thing you can learn from the Maryland drivers handbook, it specifically states that you are not supposed to fucking slow down the highway to let someone over.

It's not supposed to work like that, it does not work like that, you cause traffic, accidents and road rage.  Learn to fucking drive before you get on the damn highway. 

Now what about those no-merge lane on-ramps?  Easy, use your fucking eyes.  If you don't have them you should not be behind the wheel of a car.  Get off the cell phone, stop drinking your Starbucks, and look as you are approaching the highway on the ramp, see an opening and pace yourself so that you can slide in WITHOUT slamming on the brakes.  This might actually involve accelerating, so nut up already.  Real complicated huh?  Not really, you're just a dim-wit.

Now this pinheaded behavior is not limited to highways, the same applies to simple right-turn lanes at intersections.  Ever notice when you are going to turn right from a side street onto a major road, there is usually that little white line that for some strange fucking reason forms a brief 200ft lane?  Ever wonder why that is there? 

Don't fucking sit in a right turn lane and wait for the fucking light to turn green, you back up traffic, and you're dumbassedness slows the few of us intelligent drivers down.  You turn out into that 200ft lane, its there for, you guessed it, ACCELERATION.  Get into that lane, and fucking step on the gas, merge into traffic.  Some of you fuckfaces seem to think you need to turn right onto a two lane road, and simply bypass the right lane, going straight into the left.  You sit there waiting for a big enough hole in traffic where you wont have to use the gas pedal, this behavior is completely fucking unacceptable.  Here's a news flash, if you use the acceleration lane as intended, speed up and merge into traffic, you can then get over to the left lane.  Although no one wants you there.

As an addition, it is completely un-fucking-acceptable to simply drive in the left lane of the highway in fear of merging traffic.  Or to wait until the last minute to move from left to right lane to exit.  If you know your exit is coming up, get the fuck over ahead of time, if you dont know - then you shouldnt be in the left lane anyway you fuckbag.  Yet all of you fucking morons do it, get off the highway, you are the problem, asshole.