Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The vigilante

Inspiring some of the worst kinds of road rage, another retard found on roads around here, king fuck of the asshole community, Judge Dredd of the highway -  the vigilante.

Not enough balls to be a police officer, but that wont stop this jackass from attempting to enforce the law.  Often found cutting over to the left lane to slow down the would-be johnny-on-time-to-work, this asshole is a viral plague of the highway. 

The vigilante will do whatever is necessary to ensure you abide by the speed limit, which, regardless of highway signage, is coincidentally exactly how fast the vigilante wishes to go.  Often times this pompous breed of highway herpes will blend in with the rest of the left lane retards.  However in traffic he becomes much easier to identify, attempting to set a pace for the rest of us.  With no one in front of him for 2 miles, he figures that by slowing the highway to a crawl of 30mph, traffic will simply ease itself away.  God forbid you try to pass this undercover unofficial enforcer of the law, he will surely do whatever is in his power to make sure you dont get past.

Don't even think about going over 65mph in a 65mph zone with no traffic when the vigilante is near, he will simply stay left, pacing the car in the right lane to hinder your passage.  The only thing this assclown responds to is absolute insane road rage.  There are only a few ways around king fuck, ideally the driver to the right being paced is aware of the vigilante, in which case they will often times slow down or speed up to allow you to pass, however this is rare.  Most often the only hope is a slow moving vehicle merging onto the highway, providing a quick break in right lane traffic for you to pass.  But beware, the vigilante is often alert as well, and will cut right directly in front of you blocking your passage again.

This fool often causes its prey to turn into the previously mentioned Lunasstic, inspiring passing on shoulders.  Beware, in severe cases the vigilante will himself drive half in the shoulder in a feeble attempt to block you.

If this is you, go die in a fire, you are a waste of life.

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